Saturday, 21 May 2016

Top 3: Characters to Spend Rapture Party Day with

On the 21st of May, back in the year 2011, the world was supposed to have ended. The surface of the earth was supposed to have been swept by calamities – earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, plagues, you name it. And yet surprise, surprise nothing happened. We are still here. Judgement Day was delayed and humanity did not move on to Heaven, Hell, Nirvana, the great Void or wherever else you would like to end up after the shedding of your mortal remains.

Ever since then, May 21 has become one of these special holidays – Rapture Party Day.

And if a failed Armageddon is no reason to celebrate then I don’t know what is. That is why we of BSP have prepared a little game for today and you are free to join in, of course.

Imagine that there has been a mistake and Doomsday was not scheduled for 2011, but 2016. Tomorrow the world will end, and there is nothing to do about it. While you think about what to do on the last day of your life, a magical fairy godmother appears and offers you to breathe life into the three fictional characters you would like to attend your end of the world party. 

Who would you choose?


3. Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind, 1939)

© MGM | Source: Giphy
Spoilt southern belle Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) has no patience with people who try to prevent her from partying hard. After the death of her husband, she's fully in dancing mode - and does not even try to hide the fact. Reason enough to send an invitation out to her. Scarlett doesn't allow negativity to get her down. The end of the world is nigh? So be it. For her, it's all about the fun, the pleasure, the satisfaction of her selfish mind. So while, under normal circumstances, she might be hard to handle, she's just the right person to spruce up any rapture party guest list. She'll keep everybody entertained and the champagne flowing. She'll make sure that the music's playing until the very end and that all feet are twirling on the dancefloor. And who knows, with her strong will and perseverance, she might even stop doomsday from happening at all. After all, tomorrow's another day. 

2. Stu (The Hangover trilogy, 2009-2013)

© Warner Bros. | Source: Everything on Tap
Okay, okay, I admit, I'm actually hoping that Stu (Ed Helms) will bring the rest of the wolf pack along with him. On a night on which you've got nothing to lose, he and his buddies Phil (Bradley Cooper), Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Doug (Justin Bartha) are actually the ideal people to spend time with. Together, you'll be gambling, drinking lots of tasty drinks, roaming strip joints, losing teeth, getting married and stealing a tiger from Mike Tyson's property. There are no limits and no regrets. And should the mood ever get down - which, to be honest, is highly unlikely - Stu can always sing and play you a catchy song on the piano. With him and the boys on board, you're bound to have the best night of your life. You might not remember it in the morning but, hell, there isn't going to be a next morning anyway.

1. Atia of the Julii (Rome, 2005-2007) 

© HBO | Source: imgur
Atia (Polly Walker) has a reputation of being snarky and slightly mean-spirited. So in case your festivities suck, she'll definitely let you know one way or the other. But since the party we're talking about here is pretty much the very last one she'll ever attend in her entire life, I'm sure she'll be willing to be more amiable. Should your rapture party, therefore, lack spirit, Atia's sure to lend you a helping hand. She herself is an excellent hostess and will provide you with the finest food and drink, music, stunning robes and jewellery - and a broad selection of sexual slaves to choose from. Romans, I know. Anyway, to go down with Atia means to go down in style and pomp. The end of the world has never been such luxurious, wicked fun.


3. Fred and George Weasley (Harry Potter series)

© WB | Source:
Technically, Fred and George Weasley are obviously two people, but - since they are twins - I am counting them as one person since I really, really want them at my end-of-the-world party. Invite the twins and you basically got the entertainment sorted out. Fireworks, magic tricks (or actual magic for that fact), and jokes - you name it, you got it! And if someone you didn't invite and really don't want to see shows up on your last day on earth, just sneak them a couple of Puking Pastilles for sweets and you got that taken care of... Other than that, Fred and George are clever, loyal to a fault, and generally just fun and relaxed people to hang out with.

2. Karen Walker (Will & Grace)

© WB | Source:
If I want anyone's commentary guiding me through the last day on earth, it sure as hell is Karen Walker's. People who can say things like "You say potato, I say Vodka" or "24 hours in a day - 24 beers in a case" with a straight face and mean it are the ones you need on a day like this! With Karen you can drink and dance like there is no tomorrow (haha) and talk trash about all the weird people around you one last time. If someone harasses you or tries to judge you - don't worry, Karen isn't having any of that. Finally, a good dose of cynicism really can't hurt at the end of all days.

1. Dick Casablancas (Veronica Mars)

© WB | Source:
Nobody puts Dick in a corner... well certainly not at a party! This slightly perverted man-child always knows where there's the most fun to be had and, if nothing's going on anywhere, he certainly has the means and mind to throw an epic evening himself (or day for that matter). So the one guy you really need at your big end-of-the-world bash, it is Mr. Casablancas. He's easy to talk to, knows all the cool guys and drinking games, and isn't a sight for sore eyes either. Should your party suck anyways, you can be sure his often annoying and disrespectful blabbing will start a brawl in no time. There you go: Problem solved and new entertainment secured. After all, Dick always comes prepared:

Dick Casablancas: "Look who it is, most likely to blog and class buzz kill."
Veronica Mars: "You are just who I was looking for, most likely to know where I can find the bar."
[Dick whips out a flask from his belt buckle]
Veronica Mars: "Gross"
Mac: "No"

Nata Lie:

3. Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones)

© HBO | Source: gotrecaps

The most likely smartest man in the Game of Thrones universe is the perfect entertainer for any party, no matter how drunk he gets. And, boy, he can certainly hold his liquor! His eloquence would bring just about the right amount of sophistication to the table and awkward silences would be a thing of the past, since he would just talk through them. Tyrion has a sheer endless repertoire of conversational topics: politics, brothels or maybe an anecdote of how he shot his father on the loo? A party with Tyrion is a party with a lot of laughter. Aside from that, he has shown to be a fan of drinking games and his access to wildfire could be used to create a monumental firework, worthy of heralding the end of the world.

2. Tony Stark (Iron Man)

© Marvel | Source: shutupandwatchthemovie
Because now that I’ve invited one witty, rich, sarcastic party lion I feel the need to throw in another. Naturally, Tony would have to wear his Iron Man suit (not such a bad idea in our impending doomsday scenario) and have his other suits act as our waiters and now let the party games begin! Just imagine the heroic Iron Man, clad in full battle gear, putting his back into a game of Twister,a limbo dance or a game of thrones, err, I mean musical chairs. I’d really, really love to see that. As individuals these two are already absolutely hilarious, but can you picture Tyrion Lannister and Tony Stark together? I’m sure they would alternate between being the best buddies ever to hating each other’s guts in an interval of five minutes or less. Frenemyship is predestined.

A conversation between these two would probably be so comical that it would entirely slip your mind that the world is about to end.

Tony: Well, last year I saved the world from an alien invasion and lost loads of my suits.

Tyrion: Oh yeah? I saved King’s Landing during the Battle of the Blackwater and lost my nose in the process.

Tony: Ah, so your face isn’t meant to look like that?

Tyrion: No… and anyway – are those suits for rent?

Tony: Tell you what. If you manage to grow, say like two inches before all this doomsday stuff takes place you can have them all. As it is I don’t have any child-size versions.

Tyrion: ☠ !? * @ %$ ⚔ #☣ ✣ & ♯✹ * !!!

1. The Genie (Aladdin)

© Disney | Source: animationconfabulation

I don’t think I have to explain why I want the Genie on my guest list, do I? The question is rather who wouldn’t want to invite him? Aside from the obvious, his ability to fulfil wishes (“Genie, the location here is kind of drab, don’t you think?” “Just a second---“ *Moves the party into a palanquin on the back of an elephant*), he can sing, is awfully funny, and could act as a moderator when Tyrion and Tony are caught up in one of their verbal battles again. If the Genie manages to turn our little Rapture Party into anything like that Prince Ali introduction parade, then I’ve seen all that there is to be seen and can bid farewell to the world without shedding a tear.

So these three are my party people – now let the world go down with fireworks and fanfare!

© Disney | Source: giphy

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